Used to Be Unbreakable
by MiLoV
Summary: COMPLETE! Chapter 17: Jess has a problem, will he reveal it to Rory? Eventually a LIT
1. Shatter

A/N: ok I decided to go in a different direction with this....so that's what's going on. Sorry to slow ya down! Keep reading!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He stood in his room, listening to his parents fighting. Jimmy had come back after 10 years and was ruining Jess and Liz's lives all over again. Jess was 16 and he felt like he was 6 years old again. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes....remembering the night that Jimmy left.  
  
~*~*~*~*~FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR HIM, LIZ!!"  
  
"Jimmy, you can't just leave him!! He's your son!!"  
  
"Not by choice!!!"  
  
"But what's done is done and you can't abondon him!!!" He opened the door.  
  
"Oh yeah!?! Watch me!" After saying this, he left. Liz walked into her 6 year old son's room and watched him read on his bed. Hefinally looked up and smiled.  
  
"Hey mommy!"  
  
"Hey sweetie...."  
  
"Where did daddy go?" Jess asked, completely oblivious to what had been happening just one room over.  
  
"He...he's gone baby..." He looked down.  
  
"Where did he go?"  
  
"I...I don't know..." Tears filled her eyes.  
  
"Is he comming back?"  
  
"I don't think so..." Tears started streaming down the little boy's face as Liz took him up in her arms. "It's ok, baby...I won't ever let him hurt you again. I promise."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~END FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jess opened his eyes and continued listening to his parents fighting. He went out onto his firescape and looked down. He could just jump and end the pain and suffering that he had hidden so well over the years....but decided not to. He stared out at the sky above him praying that his father would leave. Tears started streaming down his face, just as they had 10 years ago. He had always been able to think of himself as unbreakable....but when his father was involved....he would shatter into a million pieces.  
  
A/N: Yeah yeah I know it's short, but I don't have much time tonight!! Please review....this won't be a very long fic...at least I don't think- if you have ANY ideas please tell me...thanks for reading! 


	2. Unwanted Memories

(continues straight from other chapter)  
  
Later that night, Jess lay in his bed thinking about his father, when suddenly, a flashback occurred.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
1ST GRADE CLASS ROOM  
  
"Now, class," the teacher began, "tomorrow is Father's Day and I would like you all to give a presentation to the class about your father. You can use pictures or objects, just about anything you want! Your parents can even come and watch you! This is due tomorrow, so be ready!"  
  
AFTER CLASS- 3:00 P.M  
  
Jess got on the school bus and took a seat near the back. He began reading ( a book far too advanced for other kids his age) and let himself get lost in the story....that is until The Bullies showed up. They sat all around him and took his book away.  
  
"Hey Jessy-wessy! What are you gonna do for the Father's Day presentation? Oh wait...that's right! Your father didn't want you so he left you!" All of them starting laughing.  
  
"Shut-up, Bentley! You don't know anything!" Jess stood up and grabbed his book and started heading for the front of the bus until John Bentley grabbed him by his shirt and landed his fist into his face. Jess stumbled back, but quickly recovered. He grabbed Bentley and threw him on the seat, all the while punching him. The bus stopped and the driver came back and saw Jess hitting the kid and he pulled Jess off.  
  
"Hey Kid! I don't want any trouble on my bus! You're walking the rest of the way home!" The driver started pushing him out the door.  
  
"He started it!" He yelled as he watched the bus getting smaller and smaller. Luckily his apartment was only a couple of blocks away.  
  
When he finally got home, he threw himself on the couch. Liz walked in. "Hey sweetie, how was- what happened!!?!"  
  
"Nothing." She dragged him into the kitchen and put ice on his eye and a wet rag on his lip.  
  
"Sweetie....what happened." He sat on the chair and stared at the floor.  
  
"Why did he leave! He ruined everything!" He suddenly yelled.  
  
"Baby..."  
  
"There's a Father's Day presentation tomorrow and...I don't have a father." He ran to his room and went out onto his firescape. Tears streamed down his face as his mom stepped onto his firescape as well. She pulled him into her arms and sang him the song that had always comforted him, ever since he was little.  
  
May it be an evening star  
  
Shines down upon you  
  
May it be when darkness falls  
  
Your heart will be true  
  
You walk a lonely road  
  
Oh! How are you are from home  
  
Mornie utulie (darkness has come)  
  
Believe and you will find your way  
  
Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)  
  
A promise lives within you now  
  
May it be shadows call  
  
Will fly away  
  
May it be your journey on  
  
To light the day  
  
When the night is overcome  
  
You may rise to find the sun  
  
Mornie utulie (darkness has come)  
  
Believe and you will find your way  
  
Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)  
  
A promise lives within you now  
  
A promise lives within you now.........  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~END OF FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He felt a presence in the room- it was his mother. "I'm fine." He stated. But she knew he wasn't.  
  
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A/N: Hey yeah! I finally updated! My life has been a total trainwreck!! Everything has gone wrong!! So please forgive the delay!! Please review!  
  
Song by Enya- May it Be 


	3. I Need To Talk To You

1 YEAR LATER  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jess layed on the couch and watched TV as his mom was about to go to work. "Jess you need to get to school."  
  
"Nope. No school today. It's a holiday."  
  
"Jess, I'm not falling for that again. Get up and get to school. I'm very tired of your principal calling me every day."  
  
"Then stop answering the phone."  
  
"Get up NOW!" She yanked him up by the shirt.  
  
"Ok ok fine, I'm going." He walked out the door and started heading down the street. He hated going to school, so he decided to skip out....again. He saw a little book store and went inside. He sat down and grabbed a book; he read until 3:30 and then went home. He layed back down on the couch and watched TV. The phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" Jess answered.  
  
"Jess! You wanna come hang out at the warehouse?"  
  
"Yeah I'm in, Parker. I'll be there in 15." They hung up and Jess started getting ready. As he was putting his coat on, his mother got home, she was completely silent.  
  
"I'm goin out."  
  
"No." He stopped.  
  
"What?" He asked a little disbelieving.  
  
"Jess, your principal called again. It seems you didn't go to school today."  
  
"Yeah so."  
  
"Jess!"  
  
"Look, Parker and the guys are waitin for me."  
  
"Fine....I have to go take care of something. I'll be back tomorrow morning."  
  
"What? Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going to take care of something, like I said." She started to go into her room and then stopped. "Oh and, Jess. No parties will be held at our apartment. Am I right?"  
  
"Yeah yeah..." He left and she got packed and left for the bus stop.  
  
She arrived at her destination around 5:00 p.m. And went straight to her brother, Luke. She went into his diner and walked up to the counter. Without turning around, Luke asked for her order.  
  
"I'd like to talk if that's alright." Luke turned around.  
  
"Liz?!? What are you doing here?!?" He came around the counter and pulled her into a hug.  
  
"I came because....well-"  
  
"Where's your kid?"  
  
"Well that's kind of what I need to talk to you about....."  
  
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A/N: I know it's short but the next chapter should be up tomorrow or the next day....this chapter was kind of a filler but please review! 


	4. Luke To the Rescue

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~~**~  
  
Jess walked home from the warehouse, surprisingly not drunk. He smoked his cigarette and put it out as soon as he got home. It was 3:30 A.M. and he was more depressed as ever. He didn't tell people but he had thought about killing himself many times. He once about jumped off of his firescape, once he was going to shoot himself with his dad's old gun...but he would always chicken out or decide against it....he hated his life and wanted to end it. The problem was, was that he had to appear unbreakable to everyone especially his mother-for her sake.  
  
*******************************  
  
"So what's the problem?" Asked Luke as he and Liz entered his apartment. "Is he hurt?"  
  
"Well....he's....hurting....you remember when his dad came back last year?"  
  
"Yeah...."  
  
"Well ever since then, he's been in a lot of trouble. I mean he's skipping school ALL the time, he's doing drugs, he smokes, he drinks-"  
  
"Whoa whoa, how do you know all this? Does he tell you?"  
  
"No but it's obvious."  
  
"So you came to me because-"  
  
"Luke, I can't handle him anymore....I love him with all my heart....but he needs a better example...he needs a new start, a new life!"  
  
"So I'm still wondering what that has to do with me..."  
  
"Will you let him come live with you?"  
  
"Here? In Stars Hollow?" She nodded. "I...I don't think you want to do that, Liz. This is Stars Hollow...he'll hate you for the rest of his life if you send him here." She paused for a moment...  
  
"Yes...he will.....but...I'll...TRY and deal with it...but I want what's best for him, even if it means he will end up hating me."  
  
"Liz...I just don't think I can do that...he's 17!"  
  
"Please, Luke..." Tears started streaming down her face. "I don't want him to fall of the face of the earth....I don't want him to drift! Please!" Luke sat silent for a moment and looked up...  
  
"Alright....but I'll come to New York with you and see what he's like and if he's too much for me I can change my mind...right?"  
  
"Yes." So they got Luke packed and ready to go and had Caesar take over the diner for a couple of days, then they headed back to New York....it was a little earlier than Liz had expected...a lot earlier...  
  
***************************  
  
Jess layed on his bed thinking and thinking and thinking....this would be the perfect time to do it...he could just do it and end his pain. He took a peice of broken glass and held it to his wrist....he had made a suicide tape for his mom....and that was all he wanted to do....he put the glass closer to his skin and cut. Just as he passed out he saw his mom and some guy walk in.  
  
"JESS!!!" The voice faded into his head and everything went black.  
  
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A/N: hahahahahahahamwhaaaaaaaaaaa cliffhangers!! Hee hee...well anyhow! I hope you guys liked it!! Please review!! 


	5. He Speaks!

They rushed him to the hospital. "Liz, just so you know-I'm gonna take him..ok? You were right-he needs a change of scenery." She ran to him and hugged him and they watched as the doctors rushed Jess into surgery.  
  
~***~***~***~***~***~***~  
  
3 HOURS LATER  
  
The doctor came out and greeted Luke and Liz. "Ms. Danes...your son is fine...but he's gonna have to go to some kind of therapy or something...suicide is a very serious thing."  
  
"Of course...I will definitely get him some therapy."  
  
"He's awake-you can go in and see him"  
  
"Thank you." She walked into the room and looked at her pale son. "Hey sweetie." He turned his head and opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Jess, why did you do it?" He didn't answer. "Jess...you have to talk to me baby."  
  
"Why did you save me! I didn't want to be saved!" He all of a sudden yelled.  
  
"Jess...you know I can't just watch you die!" Tears welled up in her eyes again. "I don't want to do this, Jess....but...You see...I'm worried about you...Your friends have had a bad influence on you...and well...you are going to live with your Uncle Luke....in Stars Hollow, Connecticut." His face turned even more pale...if that was possible.  
  
"You...you WHAT!"  
  
"Jess-"  
  
"I thought you actually loved me! Unlike Jimmy!"  
  
"I do! But-"  
  
"Get out!!"  
  
"I don't want you to kill yourself Jess!!"  
  
"GET OUT!!!" She walked out, with tears streaming down her face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
2 WEEKS LATER  
  
"So he's comming today?" Asked Luke's crush, Lorelai.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"I thought you said he was comming 2 weeks ago..."  
  
"Well he was going to...but well...he had to do something...I don't know."  
  
"Well I'm looking forward to meeting him! Oh! I have to get to work!! Bye!!" She rushed out the door and Luke looked at the clock. 30 minutes his nephew would be here.  
  
30 MINUTES LATER  
  
Luke walked to the bus stop as the bus arrived. People filed out and there was Jess with his therapist...it was apparently required for this guy to tag along..."Jess.."  
  
"Luke."  
  
"Hello, Mr. Danes." Replied the therapist.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"My name is Jordan Cannon. I'm Jess's therapist."  
  
"I figured." Replied Luke...he hated these stupid know-it-all therapists.  
  
"I'll be checking in on Jess every weekend."  
  
"That won't be necessary. I can handle him."  
  
"Well..." He contemplated if he should trust this man. "Ok...but I need to know what school he'll be attending so I can get in touch with his guidance counselor."  
  
"He'll be going to Stars Hollow High. Right across the street there."  
  
"Great, he or she will have a meeting with you, Jess, every week. Ok? If you don't attend the meetings, I will have to come to Stars Hollow every weekend...and from the look of things I don't think you want me to do that. Goodday Jess...Mr. Danes." The man stepped onto the bus and left Jess and Luke standing alone.  
  
"Ok...so that guy was a creep....so how are you doing?" Jess just walked away. "Hey wait! Jess!" Luke started chasing after him..he grabbed ahold of his wrist, and Jess pulled away in pain. Luke realized but figured he shouldn't say anything about..."that" "Jess...You can't just leave...ok..I have to take care of you...you either have to let me keep an eye on you or that creep is gonna have to...ok?" Jess nodded and let Luke lead him back to the diner. "Ok so this is the diner....and upstairs is the apartment..." He lead him upstairs. "Ok...so why don't you get unpacked and come on downstairs..."  
  
"No thanks."  
  
"He speaks! And no. You have to come downstairs."  
  
"What do you think I'm gonna do up here?"  
  
"Given your record who knows." Retorted Luke. Jess couldn't respond to this.  
  
"Fine, I'll be down in 20 minutes."  
  
"Make it 10."  
  
"Whatever." Luke took a deep breath and walked downstairs...this was going to be harder than he thought.  
  
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A/N: Here's the next chapter! Hope you liked it! Please review! And thanks for all the reviews I've gotten so far! They've meant a lot! Love you guys! 


	6. Meeting the surprisingly Familiar Nephew

4:00 P.M  
  
Lorelai and her daughter, Rory, walked into Luke's Diner and sat down at the counter. "Lukey!" Yelled Lorelai.  
  
Luke emerged from the back. "Hey, what do you want?" He asked gruffly.  
  
"Someone's in a bad mood. Bad day?"  
  
"What do you want Lorelai?"  
  
"I'll have coffee, a cheeseburger, cheese fries, and oh yeah! Coffee!"  
  
"You said coffee already." Retorted Luke  
  
"I want a double dose!"  
  
"Fine. Rory, what do you want?"  
  
"Wait. You're not going to argue with me about how much coffee I drink?" Asked Lorelai.  
  
"No. I don't have time."  
  
"I'll have the same." Said Rory. Luke got them what they wanted and brought it out.  
  
"So where's that nephew of yours?"  
  
"He's upstairs...oh yeah..I'll be back." Luke ran upstairs.  
  
"Ok that was weird."  
  
~*~*~*~*~Upstairs~*~*~*~*~  
  
Luke burst through the door and saw Jess reading on the couch. "I'm still here." He replied to Luke's very ungraceful entrance.  
  
"Well...good...I was just checking on you...seeing if your ok..." Jess didn't answer. "Ok then-I'll be back up later." He walked back downstairs.  
  
~*~*~*~*~downstairs~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
"I just had to check on my nephew..."  
  
"Um..ok..." Lorelai replied very confused... "Well why don't you bring him to dinner at our house tonight-Sookie will cook-don't worry." She winked at him.  
  
"I'll see..." They had finished their food and decided they needed to go.  
  
"Ok we'll go tell Sookie-BYE!" The two girls left and walked towards Sookie's.  
  
"Hey mom," Rory started, "I'm gonna go read on the bridge for a little while ok?"  
  
"Sure sweets..." Rory walked out onto the bridge. There was someone sitting there right in front of her who was also reading. She couldn't tell who it was. "I'm sorry, I'll just come back later." She started to leave when the person spoke.  
  
"You can stay."  
  
"Are you sure?" He nodded and she sat down a little bit away from him as if not to disturb him....even though she already had.  
  
The two read for about an hour before the young man got up. "Are you leaving?" He nodded as he started walk away. "Well...bye..."  
  
"Yeah." Rory didn't know quite what to make of this boy. She wasn't sure if it was Luke's nephew or just some kid she'd never met before...if that was even possible...but for some strange readon, he intrigued her. A boy that reads books....that was something new...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rory walked in and smelled the wonderful food that Sookie was making. "Mom! I'm home!!" She walked into her room and started her homework. Her mind kept drifting to the boy at the bridge...she had no idea why...Though she didn't really see his facce, he looked sad. Just by the way he slumped over his book. She didn't think it could have been Luke's nephew because when they were about to leave Luke's, he had just gone up to check on his nephew....This guy she saw at the bridge was HER age...he wouldn't have needed to be checked on.....  
  
1 HOUR LATER  
  
Rory came out of her room just as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!!" She walked to the door and opened it. There stood Luke....and the guy she saw at the bridge...she stumbled back a little. "H-hi..."  
  
"Hey, Ror." Greeted Luke.  
  
"You....you're Luke's nephew?" She asked.  
  
"Oh so you two know each other. That's cool. All right well common, you gotta go meet the rest of 'em." Luke walked away. Rory realized she didn't know this guy's name...he started to follow his uncle, but as he passed by Rory, he whispered:  
  
"Jess." She looked up into his eyes and smiled.  
  
"Rory..." He nodded and walked off.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
They sat next to each other at the table and Rory noticed he wasn't eating. She saw Luke lean over and whisper to him, "Eat, Jess....please." Jess abruptly stood up and left the table...Everyone looked at each other in complete confusion.  
  
"Well, I'm done." Rory announced. She took her plate into the kitchen and noticed the back door opened slightly. She walked over and opened it more...there stood Jess at the railing. "Hey..." He turned his head slightly at the sound of her voice.  
  
"Hey" he responded. He had a bottle of beer in his hands and he started to try and open it, but his right hand was shaking so badly that he stopped trying. Rory noticed this.  
  
"Are you ok? You're shaking..."  
  
"I'm fine." He said harshly. There was a long silence before Rory spoke again-for fear of upsetting him once again.  
  
"So you wanna come inside?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Oh...um..ok..so you like to read?"  
  
"It's cool."  
  
"So do you read much?"  
  
"No..not much." Luke stepped out.  
  
"Common, Jess. Let's go home." Jess started to walk off but then said to Rory.  
  
"But then again, what is 'much'? Night Rory." The two boys walked off leaving Rory with a huge grin on her face.  
  
* * *  
  
"Did you have fun?"  
  
"It was ok." He paused. "Do they know?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About this..." He pulled up his sleeve and revealed a bandange.  
  
"Oh that...umm...no..I figured you didn't want everyone to know-even if you don't know the people." Luke replied, very uncomfortable talking about this with him. Jess pulled his sleeve back down and rubbed the ever so sensitive spot on his wrist where he had tried to kill himself.  
  
"Thanks..." Luke nodded and they walked the rest of the way home in silence.  
  
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A/N: Hey guys! I hope this chapter is what you wanted...but I'm kind of unsure about it....so feedback is greatly appreciated! 


	7. Take a Beating Little Boy

He sat on the bridge the next day as it poured down rain and he absentmindedly rubbed his wrist while staring at his reflection in the water. "Hi." Came an angelic voice. He jumped and grabbed for the sleeve of his shirt to pull it down to hide his wrist...but the problem was....He was wearing a short sleeve shirt...and he had forgotten a jacket. He thought he would be the only one out in the wet, cold afternoon.  
  
"You shouldn't be out here, you'll catch a cold." Rory was surprised that he actually said something....considerate.  
  
"What about you? You have a short sleeve shirt on! At least I have a jacket!" She said half jokingly. Jess realized it was hopeless to argue with her. He made sure that his wrist was hidded as she sat down next to him. They sat in silence for a good while. It was a comfortable silence unlike most silences Rory had experienced. Most were uncomfortable and made her want to squirm or run away. Rory although enjoying this silence thought it best to say something. "So how do you like Stars Hollow?" He looked at her out of the corner of his eye hoping she was joking, but then realizing she wasn't, tried to come up with an answer.  
  
"I haven't been here long enough to make an analysis."  
  
"Oh. That makes sense." There was another silence. He took out a cigarette and lit it. He slowly put it up to his lips and took a drag. The silence then became uncomfortable. "Hobby?" She asked pointing the cigarette he held in his left hand..........conveniently.  
  
"One of many." He replied in a joking casual way. After a bit he sensed that him smoking was a discomfort to Rory. "Is it bothering you? Me smoking?"  
  
"A little." She confessed.  
  
"Ok." He threw it in the water. "Better now?" She smiled.  
  
"Much....but you didn't have to."  
  
"Whatever. I gotta get goin, I'll be seein ya." He got up.  
  
"Yeah me too." He turned around to leave but she spoke again. "Hey Jess?"  
  
"Yeah?" He turned around.  
  
"I hope you like it here in Stars Hollow." She smiled at him then turned around and walked away. He smirked a little and stared after her, seemingly satisfied and happy that she was stubborn enough to stay and talk to him in the rain. She was different than the other girls he had met. Most were just after sex, one night stands, things like that...she was so so much different.  
  
Jess walked back into the diner and all of a sudden froze.  
  
~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~  
  
"Move!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're in the way! Move!!"  
  
"What if I don't want to?" Jess asked sarcastically.  
  
"Then you better start runnin." The large man replied.  
  
"OOO, is that a threat?" The man lunged at Jess and threw him on the ground. He repeatedly punched Jess in the face and in the stomach and he would stand up and kick him in the ribs. Then occasionally he would pick him up and throw him into a wall or a bookcase or maybe even a coffee table.  
  
"Billy, stop." Said Liz, comming up behind him. She was wasted and to Billy she was not even close to a threat to him. He shoved her back and she landed on the floor. That was it, this pushed Jess too far. He stood up slowly, stumbled back a little, and thend steadied himself the best he could. His vision was blurred from the tears of pain that lingered in his eyes, but he had to defend his mother.  
  
"Leave her alone." He said sharply. The man turned back to him with hate and anger upon his red face.  
  
"You want another beatin, boy!?!" He boomed as he stormed over to Jess. He was once again caught in a situation that was not good. His stpid mouth had once again got him and even his constantly wasted mother into trouble. He looked at his helpless mother and decided that he could take another beating for her as always and replied to his mother's boyfriend:  
  
"Bring it on." For a 14 year old, Jess was quite brave to have taken on this guy for 2 years straight...of course he always lost, but his mother was always ok..except for the fact she was wasted. He wanted to be tough....and that's what he would do. He decided while he was lying on the floor about to go unconscious from the pain that he was going to find someone that could make him tough.  
  
Liz had been so depressed over Jimmy leaving, that she would go to bars everynight and get drunk or wasted or whatever she felt like-this started her addiction to drugs and alcohol. One night while she was at the bar, she brought home the man named Billy. She brought him home night after night after night for 2 years and at least 4 times a week, Jess would take a beating. He had to get tough-that's all there was to it. Whatever it took, he would do it. He couldn't take it anymore.  
  
~*~*~*~End of Flashback~*~*~*~  
  
"Jess..Jess?" His head shot up to look at his uncle.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I've been trying to get your attention for like 5 minutes, where you been?"  
  
"I uhh..I..." He didn't want to tell Luke about Billy...he looked down and then replied: "I was gonna go..umm...well....nevermind!" He got too frustrated and all of the anger and hate that he had had back in New York with Billy came rushing back into his mind like a river rushes into an ocean. He couldn't be with anyone right now or he would probably take their head off-He had to be alone.  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Luke came upstairs after he locked up the diner. Jess had finally calmed down and decided to take a shower and as Luke entered the apartment, Jess came out of the bathroom. The looked at each other not quite sure what to say because of Jess's little explosion down in the diner earlier that day.  
  
"Uhh...you closed early?" Jess asked.  
  
"Yeah...yeah I did....so ummm what was up with you today?"  
  
"What?" He played dumb.  
  
"You were zoned out for forever....you just stood in the doorway with a look of horror on your face...it was weird."  
  
"Oh...I was thinkin...." He replied not wanting to discuss it any further.  
  
"About....?"  
  
"Nothing that concerns you!" He snapped again, as he mentally slapped himself.  
  
"Jeez I was just askin!" Luke yelled as he went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Jess flinched. There he went again-making people mad with his stupid mouth. He never said the right thing. He didn't really mean to snap again but it just happened..... *I really shouldn't speak at all...* he thought.  
  
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A/N: Hey guys I hope you liked this chapter! Please tell me if you like the many flashbacks I'm debating if I should continue to use them....well please review and tell me! thanks! 


	8. New Friends Like the Old Ones

Jess stood at the counter reading his book just as the Gilmore girls came in. Rory walked over to him. "Hey."  
  
"Oh, hey." He replied, pretending he didn't notice she came in. "You want some coffee or somethin?"  
  
"You're asking a Gilmore if she wants coffee?"  
  
"Uhhh....does that mean you want coke?"  
  
"Jess!" She laughed at how naive he was. "Gilmores live for coffee!!"  
  
"Oh...um sorry."  
  
"It's ok, you haven't been here that long. I think I'll let it slide."  
  
"Thanks." He got her her coffee and went back to his book.  
  
"So have you made that analysis about Stars Hollow yet?" Usually Jess would get annoyed that she kept interrupting him while he was reading....but for some strange reason, he didn't.  
  
"Uh no."  
  
"So you're going to Stars Hollow High huh?"  
  
"Yeah. Lucky me." He replied sarcastically.  
  
"Well I go there too so maybe we can sit together in some of our classes."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Yeah....I mean if you want...."  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"Good....well then. I gotta go, I'll see ya later."  
  
"Sure."  
  
STREETS OF STARS HOLLOW  
  
"So...what's Jess like?" Asked Lorelai as the crossed the street.  
  
"He's fine."  
  
"I didn't ask how he was doing! I asked what he was like!!"  
  
"Oh, well he's quiet and he likes to read."  
  
"Ahh I see a friendship beginning. Does he read the same stuff you do?"  
  
"I don't know. I saw him reading Oliver Twist today. Good book."  
  
"Oh! I remember that book!! It's the one about the boy and he's uhh....in love with this girl and he uhh....goes off to war and he uhhh dies and uhh..."  
  
"Mom....you've never read the book."  
  
"Yeeeah I know." They reached their street. "So you think you'll become friends with him?"  
  
"Who? Jess?"  
  
"No Oliver, yes Jess."  
  
"Oh um...I don't know. I hope so. I'd really like to discuss books and stuff with him. It'll be like...a college literature class-where you do debates on books and such."  
  
"Oh."  
  
" 'Oh'? 'Oh' what?"  
  
"Well...just the things I've heard...from Luke. I just want you to be careful."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He's different than you, Rory."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He's....well...He's seen too much." Lorelai walked inside leaving Rory out on the porch. She sat down on the porch swing and thought about what her mother had just said. *seen too much? What does that mean? How does she know?* she thought.  
  
INSIDE THE GILMORE'S  
  
"What did you mean?"  
  
"I'm sorry?" Asked a very startled Lorelai.  
  
"What did you mean when you said he had seen too much?"  
  
"I just meant that...well Luke has told me some things....Jess isn't exactly innocent you know."  
  
"I know...."  
  
"Hun, I don't mind if you hang out with him....just as long as you are aware of what he might drag you into....in the future...."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"Rory, just be careful ok? Maybe find out a little bit about him and his past...."  
  
"Fine..I'll do my best."  
  
NEXT DAY- STARS HOLLOW HIGH  
  
"Jess!" Rory called from across the school yard. "Jess, wait up!" She finally caught up. "Hey." She said a little out of breath.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"So umm what class do you have first?"  
  
"Lit."  
  
"Me too!"  
  
"Cool, umm. I'll catch up with you later ok?" He took off to a rough looking group of guys standing outside the front doors of the school.  
  
"Oh...uhh ok." She said more to herself than to him because he was already gone. *Of all people for him to hang out with...those guys are the worst!* she thought.  
  
There were three guys. Their names were Lewis, Jono, and Eddie and they were the toughtest guys in school. The jocks never came near them, the most slutty girls hung out with them, and overall the guys were pretty much the "big bad gang" of Stars Hollow. These guys weren't nearly as bad as the guys in New York, but they would do. He needed some guys at least somewhat like the ones he used to hang out with.....  
  
Rory couldn't believe he was hanging out with those guys. *Why would he want to hang out with these guys? I'll just have to talk to him after school.* she thought as she walked to Literature.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL- DINER  
  
The four guys had cut the last half of the day and hung out in the apartment above the diner....much to Luke's dismay. "Hey Luke, have you seen Jess?"  
  
"Yeah, he's upstairs I think....well you can go check."  
  
"Ok thanks." She went upstairs and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come on in!" Came a voice from inside. Rory opened the door and walked inside. There were four boys sitting around the room, listening to music. "Rory!" Jess stood up quickly, ashamed. He wasn't entirely sure WHY he was ashamed, but he was.  
  
"Well well well, who do we have here Jessy-boy?" Asked Lewis.  
  
"Cut it out. Hey, what can I do for you."  
  
"Well I uhh..." She stuttered. "I kinda wanted to talk to you....about something."  
  
"Well I'm kinda busy right now. Later?"  
  
"I guess-"  
  
"K, bye."  
  
"Um yeah...bye." She walked out and closed the door. Maybe her mom was right about Jess.  
  
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A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! Please review!! 


	9. Confronting the EverTroubling World Once...

A/N: I just wanted to thank those of you have been so faithful and reading my stories! It truly means a lot to know that my stories aren't trash and completely stupid trash at that! So thank you so much for your reviews and please don't stop!!  
  
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"Please! Come on!" Begged Jess.  
  
"Jess, no."  
  
"Justin it'll be awesome! I promise!"  
  
"Jess I'm usually down for this kinda stuff, man, but not tonight. Ask Parker to go."  
  
"Justin, you're my best friend!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"Why not tonight? Why can't you do this tonight?" He asked.  
  
"Because I got a date."  
  
"Bring her along!"  
  
"Jess...she's not like that."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She's uhh different than the other girls I've dated. She's...well she's a nice girl. Completely innocent." Jess's jaw dropped to his shoes. This girl was DEFINITELY different than the other girls he had dated.  
  
"Innocent?? Like..."  
  
"She's a virgin."  
  
"Oh....oh my." Jess replied trying to hold in his laughter.  
  
"Why are you laughing?"  
  
"I'm not!...." Justin looked at him with a "tell me now!" Kind of face. "ok ok fine! But why are you dating a girl like that?"  
  
"Jess..."  
  
"Oh I get it! You want to steal her innocence am I right?"  
  
"Jess, you are WAY off. I just like her."  
  
"But I just don't get it."  
  
"One day, you will. You'll realized all those girls that are all about sex and fun and have no seriousness about them and that they aren't the types of girls you want." Justin was 3 years older than Jess and was becomming more matured and wise by the day.  
  
"Jeez..."  
  
"Jess, I'm serious. When you FINALLY mature, you'll realize that life isn't about fun and sex. I used to think exactly like you but then I guess I matured and you didn't. Trust me, it'll happen." Jess rolled his eyes at his friend's wise advice.  
  
"You'll meet that dream girl you used to have back when you were 7. Do remember? She would absolutely love to read and she would be intelligent. She would have dark hair and blue eyes-"  
  
"Well I wisened up and realized I wouldn't ever meet that girl. I gave up that dream a long time ago."  
  
~*~*~*~End of Flashback~*~*~*~  
  
Jess's conversation with his best friend kept playing through his mind like an old video tape. He had forgotten that conversation that had taken place about 4 or 5 months before he came to Boonie Town, USA. Dark hair and blue eyes...loved to read...intelligent.  
  
"Hey, Jess..." Came a sweet voice that broke him from his thoughts.  
  
"Oh, hey. Sorry about earlier." The boards of the bridge squeaked underneath her feet as she came closer to Jess. She sat down only inches away from him. "So what was it you wanted to talk about?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" She pretened to remember when truthfully she had been thinking about it all day. "I just wanted to ask you...." She hesitated. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Maybe she was reading too much into him hanging out with those guys.  
  
"Ask me what?"  
  
"I wanted to ask you...umm...about those guys..."  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"Why do you hang out with them?" She blurted out.  
  
"Because I feel like it." He replied somewhat coldly.  
  
"Oh." She nodded her head slowly, taking in how he was talking to her. "You know, just because you feel like doing something...doesn't make it completely right."  
  
"Yeah I know. I just like hangin out with them."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ok what's with the 'oh'"  
  
"Umm it's just....'oh'...'oh..' An encouraging, non-commental noise."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"I just don't think you should hang out with them is all."  
  
"It's not up to you who I hang out with."  
  
"I know..." Jess looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He suddenly noticed her appearance. Yes, he had noticed it before, but this time he truly noticed it. Brown hair, blue eyes...there was a book in her purse....and he knew she was smart.  
  
"I...I have to go." He said quickly as he he got up and ran in the direction of the diner. He was freaking himself out. She was exactly like the girl he had used to picture himself with. He opened the diner door, the place was full as usual. But of course it was lunchtime so it made perfect sense.  
  
"Jess, phone."  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"I dunno." He took the phone from Luke and took it into the back room.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
***********  
  
He came out of the back room, threw the phone down and ran upstairs. He slammed the apartment door closed and slid down to the floor. He beat the floor with his fists as tears came to his eyes. He stood up and ran around the apartment throwing things and scattering them all over the floor. He ripped off the sheets on his bed and threw them everywhere. Luke busted through the door. He saw his apartment a complete wreck.  
  
"What the!" He saw Jess beating the wall and throwing all of his books everywhere. "Jess!" Jess continued his fit. Luke slowly approached him not wanting to scare him. He lightly touched his arm. Jess whirled around and threw his fist straight into Luke's eye. Luke fell to the floor with a thud. Jess realized what he had done and snapped out of his frenzy. He ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and punched it. The glass flew everywhere and he slid down to the floor once again and cried. His best friend was dead.  
  
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A/N: Hey! I hope you liked it! Please review! 


	10. Angels Have Found me

Luke stood up, putting his hand over his eye. Man did it hurt. Jess had quite a punch especially when he was pissed off. He walked over to the bathroom door, hearing Jess sniffling. "Jess." He knocked. "Jess, common. Open the door."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jess looked up at the sound of his Uncle's voice right outside the door. He had now moved to the bathtub and leaned up against the side of it. His knees where level with his face and his arms were slung over them. His head was down allowing his tears to fall onto his shirt and expand as they hit the fabric. He looked at the broken glass scattered across the floor, his reflection also broken and scattered. How easy would it be to pick up a piece of this glass and repeat what had got him sent to Stars Hollow? Too easy. but maybe this time Luke wouldn't come in time to save him. Maybe he could keep his uncle standing outside the door just long enough.  
  
He picked up one of the pieces that laid on the floor. He looked at each of his wrists. One was mangled with a slowly forming scar and the other, to Jess it seemed like it was just waiting to face the same fate as the other.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Luke was becomming more and more worried by the second. He had heard glass breakage and was afraid of Jess might do. "Jess! Open the door!!" He yelled, his anguish taking over him. A week earlier, the freak that had brought Jess to Stars Hollow had called and reported that Jess was not seeing his counselor like he was suppose to. Of course Luke was oblivious to this matter. He had informed Luke that if he did not make Jess go to this "therapy", that he would be taken to and institution for "people who are suicidal". Luke didn't much like the word "suicidal". But once he thought about it, Jess WAS suicidal. "Jess, open this door right now!" He panicked and ran straight through the door, breaking it down.  
  
There was Jess, tears in his eyes. He had walked in just in time before Jess cut his wrist to where the vein was. He rushed over to him and threw the glass out of his nephew's shaky hands. Jess stood up. "Jess! What are you doing!"  
  
"Leave me alone!"  
  
"You're cutting yourself! AGAIN!"  
  
"Get away from me!"  
  
"What's wrong? What happened!? Talk to me, Jess!" Yelled Luke, desperately wanting to get to the bottom of this.  
  
"My best friend died ok! Now go away!" He tried pushing past Luke but did not succeed. Luke was overwhelmed with pity for his nephew who had suffered so much. He grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Jess at first fought and pounded on Luke's chest and then finally let Luke comfort him. He cried into his uncle's strong arms.  
  
"Jess, we need to bandage you up." He cleaned off Jess's wrist and placed a bandage securely over the cut. Luke had once again saved his nephew, but this time he saved him from going to the hospital.  
  
FEW DAYS LATER  
  
"Hey." Jess looked up into the bright blue eyes of none other than Rory Gilmore.  
  
"Um hi." He stuttered. She padded across the wooden planks and sat somewhat far away from, so she would not make him run again.  
  
"I haven't seen you around for awhile. Everything ok?"  
  
"Yup." He replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Good...that's uhh good." She didn't know quite what to say. She had heard through the gossip chain that Jess was going back to New York.  
  
"I'm going back...to New York, I mean...uhh tomorrow." He said as though he had been reading her thoughts.  
  
"Oh..umm...Will I ever see you again?"  
  
"I'm not going for good. I just have some...uh business to tend to." He didn't want to convey any details.  
  
"What kind of business?"  
  
"Business that's none of your business!" He snapped at her as he stood up to walk away.  
  
"Jess, I didn't mean to pry. Please don't go." She pleaded. He took one glance at her before walking away. That's what Jess Mariano did best. *Just keep walking, Mariano, just keep walking.* he thought to himself.  
  
THE FUNERAL  
  
"Hi, Jess." Sniffed Justin's mother.  
  
"Hey, Mrs. Maxell. How are you?" He asked not wanting to be impolite. He hated funerals, especially for people he cared about. They were too emotional and it made him tired because he just had to keep his emotions hidden-like they were some kind of a secret that only he was aloud to know about.  
  
"This is the worst time of my life." She sadly responded-this made Jess sad because this was one of the worst times of his life as well.  
  
"Jess Mariano?" Came a girl's voice behind him. She had brown hair and green eyes that were bloodshot from crying-Jess knew all of Justin's relatives...he didn't remember this girl.  
  
"Yeah that's me." He answered her.  
  
"My name's Tonya. I was Justin's girlfriend." ah-ha that's why he didn't recognize her.  
  
"Oh, hi."  
  
"We dated for about 6 months...and we were having our sixth month aniversary when the car came. The person driving was obviously drunk." Jess couldn't take this.  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" But she continued.  
  
"We walked out onto the street, not even seeing the car speeding towards us. It all happened so fast. It hit him and he fell to the ground."  
  
"Tonya, please stop." Jess didn't want to hear this. "Please just stop." He tried not to be too loud, but he just couldn't take this anymore.  
  
"He told me right before he..died. Tell Jess that it's not too late. He can still find her, he just has to take a little time to look." Tears came to Jess's eyes. He hated being emotional-but that's all he was lately. Emotion. The girl walked off. Jess realized this was the girl that Justin had talked about-"the one". She really was a nice girl.  
  
LUKE'S  
  
"How was it?" Asked Luke as Jess entered the diner, wearing a shirt and tie with nice black pants.  
  
"Fine. It was just fine." Jess walked upstairs and went inside the apartment. He loosened his tie, picked up a book, turned on some music, and laid down on his bed to begin reading. He couldn't concentrate. All the words became a blur on the page. He threw his book at the wall and turned up his music even louder-he didn't want anyone to hear him cry.  
  
If there's a God at Heaven's door, do you thin He wants me anymore?  
  
It's all left up to circumstances, a whole life filled with second chances. Pounded like nails into my floor.  
  
Everybody hates and everybody dies.  
  
Begin to separate a world that's full of lies.  
  
Separate yourself, to separated self  
  
Separate yourself, to separated self  
  
Surely there's a better place for me,  
  
A place where I can spend eternity.  
  
A place where there is no more pain and there is only sunshine reigning,  
  
And there is no one walking on their knees.  
  
Everybody hates and everybody dies.  
  
Begin to separate a world that's full of lies.  
  
Separate yourself, to separated self _ Separate yourself, to separated self  
  
My angels they surround me, my demons they have found me.  
  
My demons they surround me, my angels they have found me (now).  
  
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A/N: I know Jess was a little OOC but you must keep in mind that he's hurting and people are very vulnerable when they are hurting. So anyway! I hope you guys liked this chapter! Please keep reviewing! 


	11. The Gang

He had decided to hang out with a different group of guys, the ones that were quiet and mysterious, because no one ever bothered them. Heck, they barely bothered each other. That's what he liked about them. That's what he wanted the most, was to be left alone. There were 4 guys, usually dressed in black and they sat in the back of every class and they hung out in dark alleys. They would just sit around and read or listen to music. They would occasionally smoke and drink, but only rarely. Yup, this was definitely the group for Jess. Though it wouldn't necessarily make him look like a saint to the rest of the town, he couldn't care less what they thought, but he didn't want to get into trouble anymore. It was too tiring.  
  
Lorelai and Rory had heard about Jess's friend Justin and felt absolutely terrible. But Rory felt the worst. She had been with him last week and not even noticed how badly he was upset. Although he refused to talk to her anyway. The two women walked into Luke's and ordered their usual. Jess came downstairs, took a bagel and walked out the door to school. Rory had to talk to him. She hurried out to catch up with him. But by the time she reached him, she froze. He wasn't with the guys he had been with before, he was with a darker group. They scared her even more than the other guys. What was Jess thinking!?!  
  
AFTER SCHOOL  
  
"See ya, guys." Jess said as his new "friends" left. Rory came up to him.  
  
"Jess." He turned around.  
  
"Hey." The two instinctively started walking towards the bridge.  
  
"I heard about your friend. I'm so sorry, Jess." She said sincerely. He looked down, somewhat ashamed that he hadn't told her about Justin by now. It had been a week.  
  
"It's ok. Sorry I didn't..ya know, tell you. I just-"  
  
"Didn't want to talk about." She finished. "I understand what you mean."  
  
"No, I don't think you do."  
  
"Actually, I do. My dad...he died 3 years ago." Jess was most definitely ashamed now. He was so lost in his own depression and self-pity that he didn't bother to take into consideration that maybe, just maybe, someone might know what he was going through.  
  
"Oh..I'm uhh sorry. I didn't..."  
  
"It's ok. I try not to really think about it. I knew him, but he and my mom weren't married. He got my mom pregnant at 16 and she left and came here to Stars Hollow and he visited every now and then and he would call me every Thursday morning for about 10 minutes. I loved him, but I guess...not as much as I love my mom." They had reached the bridge and they sat down.  
  
"Yeah I understand." They wanted to change the subject.  
  
"So what's up with those guys?" She asked.  
  
"What guys?"  
  
"The ones you've been hanging out with recently."  
  
"I changed friends and now you're not happy with my new ones?"  
  
"Jess...they scare me! They're weird!"  
  
"Rory, you don't know them. They're different than people see. They aren't all bad. Yeah, they seem dark and mysterious, but I think they do that so people will leave them alone. That's why I like them, Rory. No one bothers them. This whole town just leaves them alone. You notice they are never in the gossip chain, they just hang out. Like you and that Japanese girl."  
  
"She's Korean."  
  
"Whatever. You get my point."  
  
"That's the most I've ever heard you speak."  
  
"Well don't get used to it." He paused and looked at her. "Listen, why don't you hang out with us sometime..."  
  
"Jess, I dunno. I don't think so."  
  
"You and that KOREAN girl can hang out with us. We're going to Hartford to a bookstore and a music store on Saturday. Why don't you guys come."  
  
"Wait..a bookstore and a music store....Jess that's not where you guys are really going is it?"  
  
"Yeah. I told you they were different than you might think." He smirked.  
  
"Well..Let me think about it ok?"  
  
"Sure." She walked off smiling to herself. Maybe her mom was wrong about him.  
  
He walked back into the diner a little happier than he had been in several days. "Hey, Jess, you wanna help me out?" Asked Luke comming from the back.  
  
"Nope." He said as he took off upstairs. *ugh!!* thought Luke. Jess began reading hoping to forget his life and his problems, but he never succeeded. Every time he was alone, he would begin thinking about his problems and he would get a strong urge to kill himself-which was NOT normal. He hated being with people, but yet he had to. This sucked. He went back downstairs and decided to help Luke.  
  
"What do you need?" Asked Jess as he entered the diner.  
  
"Wait..I thought...ya know what. Nevermind. I will not question this miracle that has just occurred before my very own eyes." Jess rolled his eyes. "You can go serve Lorelai, Rory and Lane. Because I know you want to anway." He winked.  
  
"What is up with you, Luke? You just winked at me. You're acting..happy...I think that I'VE seen the miracle here today."  
  
"HA-HA. You're hilarious. Now go." Jess went over to the table of three.  
  
"Hey, what can I get you?" He asked. Rory looked up and smiled at the familiar boy.  
  
"Hey, Jess." Lorelai and Rory said in unision.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"This is Lane. The Korean girl you thought was Japanese." Said Rory. "And Lane, this is Jess, Luke's nephew."  
  
"You thought I was Japanese?" Lane questioned, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"GUESSED, not THOUGHT." He corrected. "It's nice to meet you. Now what can I get you people."  
  
"Coffee!!!" Lorelai and Rory yelled in unision.  
  
"Ok then. Lane?"  
  
"Coke, please."  
  
"Ok. Anything else?"  
  
"Nope. Thanks, Jess." Said Lorelai. Jess looked out the window and saw his buddies hanging out.  
  
"Whatever." He walked off, handing the order to Luke and grabbing his coat. He walked out the door and left with the mysterious group of guys.  
  
"Talk about a major mood swing. Who are those guys?" Asked Lane.  
  
"His friends." Replied Rory. "He was actually wondering if you and I would like to hang out with them Saturday." Lane looked at her strangely.  
  
"With them? Those guys? I don't think so, Rory."  
  
"They're going to a bookstore and a music store....Jess said they are different than most people think...and I'm wondering if he's right. Why don't we try it." Rory said with a determined look on her face as she stared out the window at the gang of boys walking towards an alley.  
  
"Whoa whoa whoa! A bookstore and a music store? Wow. That's just crazy....I guess we could give them a try. But, Rory, even if we figure out that maybe they aren't so bad- I don't want to end up hanging out with them all the time, ok?"  
  
"Of course." Rory replied walking towards the door.  
  
"Uhh...Rory where are you going?" Asked Lane as she stood up as well about to follow her friend to wherever she was going.  
  
"I'm going to tell Jess that we can hang out with them Saturday. You wanna come?"  
  
"Yeah ok. Bye Lorelai."  
  
"Guys, wait! I'm sorry that I wasn't paying attention! I was just staring longingly at the coffee pot hoping to move it with my magical mind powers!"  
  
"Bye, Mom!"  
  
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A/N: please review!! 


	12. The Offer Still Stands

Disclaimer- nope, i own nuthin  
  
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"Jess! Jess, wait up!" Rory called after the boy who turned up an alley. She finally caught up with him.  
  
"Hey." Her voice caused him to turn around.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked, surprised to see her standing in front of him.  
  
"I came to tell you that Lane and I want to hang out with you guys on Saturday. Is the offer still open?" She looked over Jess's shoulder and saw the rest of the gang hanging out in the back of the alley. One of the guys waved at her. She looked away.  
  
"Yeah, the offer still stands."  
  
"Is it ok with your friends?" She asked timidly.  
  
"Yeah, it's cool. Why don't you come over and meet them." She looked over his shoulder oncer again-some of them looked very mean. "They won't do anything to you." He added, knowing what she was thinking. She laughed nervously.  
  
"Yeah...uh ok." The three walked over and Jess introduced them.  
  
"Guys, this is Rory Gilmore and Lane..."  
  
"Kim." Lane finished for him. He nodded at her, silently thanking her.  
  
"Rory, Lane, this is Marty, Carver, Dean, and Zander." He pointed to each of the guys as he said their names.  
  
"It's uhh...nice to meet you guys." The four guys were making the two girls uncomfortable under their heavy gaze.  
  
"Well we have to go. We'll see you guys Saturday!" Said Lane, leading her friend out of the alley. Rory glancer over her shoulder and found herself staring at Jess who was looking at the guy who had waved at her earlier who was now staring at her again....she couldn't remember his name.... As the two rounded the corner, they headed to Rory's.  
  
"Ok-you know the guy who waved at me earlier?" Asked Rory.  
  
"Yeah...Dean I think." *Yes that was his name* Rory remembered.  
  
"He was staring at me weird as we were leaving."  
  
"Oh yeah? He WAS pretty cute." Lane replied, winking at Rory.  
  
"Yeah, I guess..." Rory's brow furrowed.  
  
"What? You guess?" Lane asked. "Or you guess he's cute, but you know of someone cuter?" She smiled at her friend who was now blushing a little.  
  
"What do you mean?" Rory asked, trying to play dumb.  
  
"Oh nothing..." She replied, a smile still on her face.  
  
"No, no. What were you implying? Who were you talking about?" Rory pushed.  
  
"I wasn't implying anything." And the smile continued to grow on Lane's face. "You know who I'm talking about, Ror. That's why you're blushing." Rory could feel her cheeks burning even more. The two reached the Gilmore's and went inside, into Rory's room. They sat on her bed, silent for a minute or two.  
  
"I don't think he's cute!" Rory all of a sudden blurted out.  
  
"What? Who?" Rory glared at Lane.  
  
"You KNOW who!"  
  
"Oh! Right!....I didn't ask you that, ya know. You just blurted that out."  
  
"Whatever." They sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"I have to go. Umm..see you Saturday?"  
  
"Yeah." Rory fingered her bedspread.  
  
"You know," Rory looked up at her friend. "I was just kidding around earlier....but if you took it so seriously, maybe you DO think he's cute, and....you maybe even like him....well I'll see ya." Lane left Rory to her deep thoughts.  
  
SATURDAY  
  
Rory and Lane walked to the diner to meet up with Jess and his friends. They opened the door, not seeing Jess or the other guys anywhere. "Hey, Luke?"  
  
"Yeah?" He asked, comming out from the back. "Oh yeah-Jess told me to send you guys on up."  
  
"Thanks." Rory and Lane went upstairs and knocked on the door. Music was playing loudly inside the apartment so he probably couldn't hear them. Just as Rory knocked one more time, they heard him yell:  
  
"Come on in!" The two girls stepped inside and saw all the guys sitting around the room.  
  
"Hey, guys." Rory said as she looked around the room for Jess. He came out of the bathroom, moused and ready to go.  
  
"Is everybody ready?" he asked. Everyone nodded and they headed to the bustop. Lane and Rory made sure they got to sit next to each other. The whole trip, the guy Dean kept staring at her.....it was freaking her out a little.  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
"See you guys later." Said Jess as his small group of friends disapeared into the night. Lane realized she had to get home as well.  
  
"Well my mom's gonna flip if I don't get back from Bible Study within the next five minutes. Bye!" she left before Jess or Rory could say anything to her. Jess looked at Rory out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"Bible Study?" he questioned, a smirk gracing his soft features. Rory looked at him and chuckled quietly.  
  
"It's a cover up." He nodded, his smirk ever-growing.  
  
"I figured." He now noticed they were alone and started to get a little nervous. "So uhh...you have to get home too?" he asked, hoping her answer would be *yes*.  
  
"Actually, I was going to go to Luke's and get some coffee." He looked down, becomming more and more nervous. "Since your going that way...you wanna get some too?"  
  
"uhhh....I actually had an errand to run....maybe some other time." He started to walk off, until he felt a small hand grab his wrist.  
  
"Do you not like hanging out with me, Jess?" Rory asked. He turned around to face this beautiful girl.  
  
"Of course I do. I just....I have to go." she nodded and turned to walk away, but she walked in the direction of her house....not in the direction of Luke's. Jess hung his head in shame. Why was he always so mean to her? What did she do wrong? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
  
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A/N: I hope you liked this chapter!! this was kinda a filler chapter...maybe you guys could give me some more ideas for this story? yes that would be good! please review and tell me your ideas! 


	13. Fights and a Loner

Disclaimer: I own nuthing except for Jess's new friends (except for Dean of course)  
  
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! But I would appreciate it if you continued!! Enjoy this chapter!  
  
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"Jess, get your butt down here and help me!!" Luke yelled up the stairs to his sleeping nephew. "JESS!!!!" Luke shook his head and walked over to the Gilmore's to take their order. "What can I get you guys?" He asked taking out his notepad.  
  
"Coffee and some french toast...and a danish!"  
  
"And a donut!" Rory chimed in.  
  
"Oh, and did we mention COFFEE!!!!" Lorelai and Rory giggled as Luke went to the back to get their orders. Rory looked longingly at the stairs. Oh, how she wanted to go up them. They were like the stairway to Heaven. "Rory!!" Rory tore her eyes away from the stairs and looked at her mom. "Hey, sweetie, what are you looking at?"  
  
"Oh nothing." Rory replied nonchalantly. She really wanted to go up and see Jess...but she didn't know if he wanted her to.....Well, it was a chance she was willing to take. "Hey, Luke?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"May I go upstairs and see Jess for a minute, please?" Luke nodded. Rory walked up the stairs slowly and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so she knocked again. A figure soon appeared behind the door as it opened.  
  
"What!?" He yelled, expecting to see Luke standing before him. Instead, he saw the sweet, bewildered face of Rory Gilmore. "Rory...hey. Sorry..I thought you were Luke..." She nodded slowly and looked down at her feet. "You uhh...wanna come in?" She nodded and continued to look down at her feet as she walked inside the apartment. "You ok?" He asked, afraid that he had really scared her. She nodded again and looked up and then looked away again.  
  
"Jess...can you umm..." She pointed to him without looking at him, hoping he would understand.  
  
"What? Can I what?" He asked obviously not understanding. She finally looked at him.  
  
"Could you maybe put some clothes on?" He looked down and realized he was only in his boxers and began to blush...and that was a first for Jess Mariano.  
  
"I uhh...yeah...sorry." He grabbed the first shirt and pair of pants that he could find and went into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later, he emerged, fully clothed. "Hey sorry about that." She had been looking at one of his books and at the sound of his voice, she threw the book halfway across the room and almost hit him, but he ducked just as the book past by his head. "Jeez! I said I was sorry!! It's not like you didn't enjoy it!" She started to blush and he just smirked at her. "So what did you need?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I know you didn't come up here just to get a look at my sexy body...." He paused as she blushed furiously. "So why did you come up?"  
  
"Well...I was just wondering...why you didn't want to hang out with me last night....and then the other day at the bridge, you ran away from me. It's like you don't want me around. You ditched me for those guys the first day of school...and I'm just confused." He walked over to his bookshelves and looked for a book.  
  
"It's not that I don't want to hang out with you, Rory. I do. I just....it's hard ok?" He turned around to face her to see if she would leave it at that or if she was going to make him explain further. She was looking at him, nodding her head.  
  
"oh...I get it...hanging out with me is -hard-. I see what you mean...." Her brow furrowed as her anger increased. "If it's so -hard- to hang out with me as you so eloquently put it, then why don't you just quit hanging out with me all together?!" She yelled as she headed out the door.  
  
"Rory, it's not like that!" He yelled after her. "That's not what I meant." He said as the door clicked shut. His stupid mouth.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LUNCH TIME AT SCHOOL  
  
"So, what are you going to do?" Lane asked her friend as they sat at one of the benches at their school.  
  
"I don't know." She answered honestly.  
  
"You know I don't think he meant that it was -hard- to hang out with you....I really don't think that's what he meant..." Rory stared at the ground in deep thought....until a voice broke her concentration.  
  
"Rory!!" She turned around... "Hey! It's me, Dean. Do you remember me?" *crap* she thought.  
  
"Yeah, I remember you." Lane looked down not sure if she should stay or if she should leave.  
  
"Great. Listen, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out on Saturday...ya know maybe see a movie, get some coffee..." Rory looked down and thought for a moment. She really didn't want to...out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jess talking to a particularly hoochie-looking blonde headed girl. She made her decision.  
  
"Sure, I'd love to go out with you on Saturday." Lane's head shot up at the sound of these words, uttered by her best friend. "What time?"  
  
"I'll pick you up say around 1:00 and we'll make a day of it. Ok?"  
  
"Great! I'll see you then, Jean." He laughed a little and gave her an odd look...  
  
"Yeah...and it's Dean...." She smiled at him.  
  
"Sorry. Bye Dean!" Dean walked away, satisfied. Lane searched her friend's face for some kind of explanation. Not two minutes ago had she been completely crushed that Jess "didn't want to hang out with her" and then all of a sudden she has a date with this guy named Dean.  
  
"Rory..."  
  
"Yeah?" She asked turned towards Lane's confused face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"You have a date." She stated, wondering if Rory really knew what had just happened. Rory looked at her, lost.  
  
"Yes, I do. Glad to know you're not deaf...." She paused for a moment. "Is that a problem?"  
  
"Well, just a second ago you were totally crushed about Jess and all of a sudden I hear you say that you would love to go on a date with a creep."  
  
"He's not a creep. He's nice." She defended this Dean guy even though she knew Lane was right.  
  
"Rory! YOU told me he was a creep!!" The two had almost reached the school's entrance when Rory stopped and looked over to her left and then quickly looked away. Lane followed where her eyes had been. "Oh my gosh, Rory!" She pulled her friend away from the crowd into a more private area. "You said yes to Dean because you saw Jess with that girl didn't you!?!" Rory looked at Lane, appalled.  
  
"Lane, how could you accuse me of such a thing? I would never use a guy just to get to another guy!" Lane's eyes narrowed at her words. "Lane!" Rory's brow furrowed and her eyes closed as she leaned her head back. "Lane...I haven't dated since that Brad guy....and Jess and I are just friends...just FRIENDS Lane....I just want to go on a date. Ok?" Lane still didn't believe her, but she decided not to push the matter for their friendship's sake.  
  
"Ok, Rory." Lane left and went to her class, leaving Rory alone. She peaked around the side of the building and saw Jess and the girl still talking. The girl was so touchy-feely. Everytime she would laugh, she would reach out and touch him. Rory's heart filled with anger and though she never would admit it, jelousy. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she walked to the front of the building.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So I was thinkin maybe we could hang out sometime?" The girl looked at Jess hopefully and he looked away, wishing that she would just disappear. He spotted Rory out of the corner of his eye. "So what do you think about-"  
  
"Listen, I have to go." He stopped her mid-sentence and ran to catch up with Rory. "Hey! Rory! Wait up!" She turned her head slightly and then continued walking, even quickening her pace. "Rory!" He ran quicker and grabbed her arm gently, turning her around.  
  
"Let me go, Jess. I have to get to class." She looked at him and then the girl he had been with, who was standing in the same spot, with a pout on her face. "Unlike some people." She remarked.  
  
"Rory, I think you misunderstood me earlier."  
  
"Stay away from me...oh, but you'll probably do that anyway." She ran off to her next class, unaware of how sad this made Jess.  
  
He walked....he just walked. There was nothing he could do. She was convinced that he hated her, which was completely ridiculous. *Maybe I should tell her.....* he thought as he stepped onto the bridge. "NO!" He boomed, his deep voice bouncing off the water and the trees. *I can't. It will scare her. She'll run away. She can't know about me.* He looked at his wrist. *she can't know.* People were afraid of people who were "suicidal". They always were making sure that they didn't upset the person so they wouldn't get upset and kill themselves. He hated it. He hated being treated weird. If people knew about him....especially -her-.....it wouldn't end well and she definitely wouldn't want to be friends with a suicidal freak like him. Why was she so upset that he wasn't hanging out with her anyway?  
  
3:30-AFTER SCHOOL  
  
Jess had laid at the bridge for the rest of the day. He didn't want to go back to that school, at least not today. He heard a noise and looked up. A little distance away, he saw two people. A girl and a guy. The girl laughed at something the guy had said and placed a hand on his shoulder, a caring gesture. The girl, was most definitely Rory....and the guy...he squinted...."Dean?" Jess laid back on the bridge and stared up into the sky. Dean was his friend....but not anymore. From that day on, Jess decided to become a loner. He was in no need of friends. All they brought him was hurt.  
  
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A/N: I know Rory and Jess are acting pretty imature, well mainly Rory....but please try and bear with me! Being ditched by your friends really sux! Trust me I know!! Anyway! I'm not entirely sure if I'm satisfied with this chapter.....Make me happy and review!! thanks!! 


	14. More Fights

Disclaimer: I own nuthin  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up but I was working on my other story Unkept Promise. And for those of you who read that one, the next chapter should be up sometime this week! So watch for it!  
  
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In the next few weeks, Dean and Rory hung out more and more and Jess and Rory hung out less and less. In fact, Rory hadn't seen Jess in a couple of weeks. One day, she and Dean were sitting in the diner and she finally saw him. He sat at the counter reading....just like nothing had happened. "Rory....Hello??" Dean snapped his fingers in front of Rory's face.  
  
"Huh?" She looked at Dean, who had an expectant look on his face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just kind of spaced out for a second, I guess." She took one more look at Jess and then her attention went back to Dean. She liked Dean, and she didn't think he was such a creep anymore. He was sweet and he really liked her.  
  
Dean looked at what Rory had been looking at. "Jess." He muttered under his breath. "You know, he hasn't been hanging out with my old friends anymore." *his OLD friends....what's that suppose to mean?* she thought. "I still talk to them occasionally at school...ever since we started dating, I haven't hung out with them very much."  
  
"Dean, you don't have stop having friends just because you have a girlfriend, ya know." He nodded. He really had stopped hanging out with them because he thought Jess would be there and if Rory was to hang out with them....he always thought something was going on between them. Rory staring at Jess today made his suspicions grow even more. "Dean?"  
  
"Oh umm yeah. I know. Looks like we're both spacing out today...must be something in the room, huh?" She looked down uncomfortably as he stared at her, burrowing holes in her head. She finally looked up and smiled a small smile.  
  
"Yeah, something in the air or....something."  
  
"Hey, you wanna go see a movie? Lord of the Rings is playing again!" She smiled at him sweetly, but inside she was frowning. She loved Lord of the Rings but seeing it everyday this week was a little much for her.  
  
"Uh yeah sure." The two got up and headed out the door when a blond-headed girl burst through the door and ran past them, over to Jess. She practically knocked Rory down, but Dean caught her. The girl's lips locked with Jess' immediately and the two were all of a sudden in a heated make- out session. Rory looked at Jess, disgusted. Dean looked at Rory, suspiciously. That was the same girl Jess had been talking with the other day when he and Rory had had that horrible fight that quite possibly ruined their friendship forever.  
  
"Come on, Rory. Let's go." He said, his teeth clenched. He opened the door and walked out. Rory walked out and before closing the door, she took one last look at Jess and the girl. Sighing, she closed the door and took Dean's hand that was stuck out for her to take. "So, you ready for LORD OF THE RINGS?" He asked in a deep dramatic voice as he put his arm around her and pulled her into him.  
  
"Bring on the hobbits." She said sarcastically, but he took it as a serious comment.  
  
"Yeah, and the Elves!" She inwardly rolled her eyes. She really liked him, but sometimes, he really got on her nerves.  
  
**********LATER THAT DAY  
  
"Jess, why don't you two do that somewhere else?" Luke asked as his nephew pulled out of a passionate kiss with a blond-headed girl.  
  
"No." Jess rolled his eyes. "she's gotta go anyways. Bye." She kissed him again and he responded forcefully.  
  
"Ah, jeez." They continued and Luke sighed. "All right, knock it off!" He pulled Jess out of the girl's reach and pushed him towards the stairs. "Say goodbye."  
  
"Bye." The girl bounced out the door.  
  
"Jess....from now on, could you two refrain from doing that in front of the whole town?" Luke asked.  
  
"Nope. It's a natural thing, Luke."  
  
"Don't even, Jess." Jess picked up a rag and started wiping off the counter.  
  
"No, seriously Luke. I mean, have you ever been to New York? It's like...ten times worse! People makin out everywhere and some are even-"  
  
"Jess!" Jess smiled and let out a chuckle.  
  
"You wouldn't survive."  
  
"Well, dear nephew of mine, I'm not moving to New York. Not now. Not ever. No need to worry."  
  
"You only stay for her." Jess muttered under his breath before smirking his usual smirk because he knew Luke had heard him.  
  
"Ok that's it. Get upstairs! NOW!" Luke grabbed the back of Jess' shirt and shoved him up the stairs. Jess fumbled into the apartment thanks to a light shove from Luke. Luke followed his nephew into the apartment and slammed the door. "Ya know, Jess. I'm a little sick and tired of you constantly making little side comments on my life! You are constantly being a sarcastic jerk! No wonder you don't have any friends! No wonder the only girl you can get is some slutty blond who hangs all over you all day kissing and pecking and touching-"  
  
"Ok, Luke! Jeez!!! And you know what? I CHOSE not to have friends! And the 'slutty blond' is not the only girl that I can get! It's just a passing thing! I don't even know her first name!" Luke forgot about the comment earlier and focused on Jess and this blond.  
  
"What do you mean you don't even know her first name?" He asked.  
  
"I mean that all we do is hang out. She doesn't know my name either. I don't even care about her and I'm pretty sure she only cares about me for one thing." He winked. "It's a pretty symbiotic relationship." He walked over to the bookshelf and searched for a book while his uncle continued babbling.  
  
"Jess! You can't treat a girl like this! It's so wrong!"  
  
"I needed someone to get my mind off...things." He said, rubbing his wrist absent-mindedly and started thinking about Rory...  
  
"Jess, don't you think you could find ONE girl that you actually care about...that cares about you for more than...just ONE thing?" Jess turned around and got right in Luke's face.  
  
"Look, the girl I like hates me!" He yelled.  
  
"So you just gave up! Just like that!?!" Jess looked down at his shoes and then turned back around to look for a book. "I thought you would have fought harder. I thought you were a tough guy!"  
  
"Luke, just shut up ok? I don't need a lecture. And unlike some people, I'm not gonna just sit around and wait for her to fall into my arms!-"  
  
"Hey! Don't you dare bring me into this! We're talkin about you!"  
  
"Well let's just say you're not the best example, now are you, Uncle Luke?"  
  
"Example? Of what!?"  
  
"Of not going and telling Lorelai that you're madly in love with her!" Luke glared at Jess and then ran at him and threw him on the ground.  
  
Lorelai and Rory had been downstairs at the time and heard the loud crash and the major amounts of yelling and raced upstairs. The door flew open and Luke was about to kick Jess. Lorelai ran over and pulled Luke away from him and Rory went to help Jess up, but he pulled away. Either he was angry at her...or he was still angry from his fight with Luke. She hoped it was the latter. He stood up and glared at Luke. "What's wrong with you!"  
  
"Yeah, Luke what is wrong with you?" Asked Lorelai, very curious as to why these two boys were fighting. Luke looked at her and then back at Jess.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Well ok then. Come on Rory." The two girls walked downstairs. Jess coward a little. Even though he wasn't exactly on best terms with Rory, he knew that Luke would never hit him while she was in there. Luke started towards Jess again.  
  
"Luke...." Jess warned.  
  
"I'm not gonna do anything to you. Listen, sorry about that. I don't know what got into me. You really get on my nerves sometimes, Jess." Luke admitted. Jess smirked.  
  
"I know." He said proudly. "But...I'm uh..sorry...for saying that."  
  
"Yeah, you shouldn't be one to talk." Jess' head snapped upward.  
  
"Luke!"  
  
"Sorry...we won't get into that again. I'm gonna go back downstairs. I'll see ya later." The two boys understood each other more than they thought they did.  
  
"Sure..." Luke couldn't believe he dove at Jess like that...*I'm an idiot!* he yelled at himself. He couldn't believe he almost HIT his nephew! No matter how annoying he was, he shouldn't have done that. He hoped that, that didn't make Jess think that he hated him. That's not what he needed. When Luke got downstairs, many watchful eyes were upon him which made him extremely uncomfortable.  
  
"Hey, Luke?" Came a sweet voice. His eyes went over to Rory who was sitting on a stool with just as much curiosity in her eyes as the rest of the crowd. "Can I....." She paused and looked into his expectant eyes. "Have some more coffee." She finished, kicking herself for not asking if she could go and see Jess.  
  
"Rory!" She turned around and saw Dean walking towards her. *what's he doing here? We were togther like three hours ago!* she thought. He came over and kissed her and it was just her luck that Jess came down at the same time and saw them. He sighed and went in the back.  
  
"Dean, what are you doing here?" She asked sweetly, but very annoyed.  
  
"I came to see if you wanted to go have dinner." He smiled, hopefully. Rory looked over at her mother who busy drinking her coffee, but obviously listening in.  
  
"Oh..uhh I promised uhh...my mom that I would have a movie night with her tonight." She lied and Lorelai looked at her daughter in shock.  
  
"Oh...what if I hung out with you guys?" Ok, this was just downright smothering!  
  
"Dean...it was kind of just a mother-daughter thing. Sorry." She smiled as he frowned a little.  
  
"Oh..ok, then I'll see you later." He walked out the door. Lorelai looked at Rory and smirked a little.  
  
"So what movie are we watching? I'm a little unprepared."  
  
"Mom...." Rory warned as she playfully hit her mother on the shoulder. The two started laughing.  
  
"Lover boy a little too 'we have to hang out all the time'-y? Jess was pouring Lorelai a cup and heard this. Dean worried him a little. He seemed kind of obsessive and possessive. But what could he do about that now? He couldn't say that to Rory. She already hated him....at least it seemed that way to him.  
  
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A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading! Please do me a favor and REVIEW!!! 


	15. Makeups and Lies

Disclaimer: I own nuthin  
  
A/N: I'm not too sure about this chapter so make sure that you review and tell me if it's ok or not :) thanks!!  
  
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Jess took in the warm summer breeze as it passed over his face, rustling through his hair. Even though it was stuck in place with gel, little strands struggled free and shook in the wind. He let his feet carry him to wherever they wanted, eventually taking him to Rory's house. He looked at the house, shaking his head. He and Rory were probably never going to speak again unless he made the effort...considering he was the one who had pissed her off. He walked up to the door and knocked, hoping Lorelai wasn't going to answer. Ever since he and Rory had started fighting, she wasn't exactly being very nice to him. No one answered so he went around to Rory's window and peeked in. She was doing homework, probably not wanting to be disturbed. He sighed and walked away, heading for the bridge.  
  
****  
  
Rory had been trying to finish her homework, but her mind kept drifting to Jess. She hated that they were fighting. *but it was HIS fault!!!* she screamed at herself. She heaved sadly and remembered the last conversation she had had with him. She cried just thinking about it. She stood up, giving up on her homework, and headed for the bridge.  
  
She saw him sitting there, he was laid out flat with his book above his head, blocking out the sun.. She watched him for a moment. He occasionally read, but would often put his arms down, possibly because they would get tired of hanging in the air and he would lay his head back and look at the sky. Soon enough, he fell asleep, Rory was still watching. She felt like a stalker. She chuckled a little at the thought of her being a stalker. She slowly walked over to Jess, waiting for him to at any moment sit up and scare the crap out of her. His arms were spread out about him. She stepped over him lightly and picked up the book he had been reading. She glanced at the book and then noticed something on his wrist.  
  
She bent down and looked carefully. It looked like a scar of some sort. She bent down and studied it, occasionally glancing back at his face to make sure he was still sleeping. Finally, she carefully touched it with the tips of her fingers which jolted him awake, hitting her arm causing the book to fly into the water. "Get off of me!!" He yelled sitting up. In one swift movement, he grabbed her wrist and threw her on the ground, his hand around her neck pinning her to the bridge. Her face started turning red from lack of air and he finally saw who it was. He immediately took his hand off and helped her up. "Oh my gosh, Rory I'm sorry." She nodded, a little shaken.  
  
"You just tried to kill me, Jess." She stated looking passed him, not wanting to look him in the eye.  
  
"Ah..it's a reflex I guess. You...ok?" He asked quietly. She nodded and quickly glanced at him before looking down at her feet. She tried to think of something to say that would make this much less awkward.  
  
"I noticed a cut on your wrist." His head shot up and his brow furrowed. "I never noticed it before. What happened?" He was about to blow up at her and yell that it was none of her business, but he knew he couldn't do that. Not again.  
  
"Uhh...it's nothing, just scrapped it one day." She reached forward and grabbed his arm, but he skillfully dodged her.  
  
"Jess...what's really going on. What happened?" She had an idea of what it could have been from, and she didn't like it at all. He wouldn't try and kill himself. He's just not like that. She shook her head to shake the horrible, unbelievable thought out of her head.  
  
"Ya know, last time I checked, we were in a fight. You hated me, you ignored me, and ya know stuff like that. So I'll just be going." She grabbed his arm as he walked by her.  
  
"Jess, no. I want to know what happened."  
  
"I already told you! I just scraped it one day!" She looked at him skeptically as he walked away. That was no scrape, that was a gash...and it was on his wrist. He was being so incredibly defensive about it that it made Rory wonder if her thought a few seconds ago had been correct. Maybe...just maybe.  
  
She watched him walk home, his head hung low, his shoulders slumped and his book still in his back pocket. She had to find out. This was going to bother her until she knew what was really going on. She ran after him, and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Ya know, we weren't finished with that conversation back there." He looked over and up and into the sky and then back down at his shoes.  
  
"I thought you were done."  
  
"Jess, what happened to your arm?" She demanded. "I want to know." He sighed and shook his head. "Did you try and...kill yourself?" These words had a bitter taste in her mouth.  
  
"What?" His head shot up faster than before.  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"No, I didn't try and kill myself. You think I'm some kind of suicidal freakshow?" He lied. She saw a look in his eyes that told her not to go on.  
  
"No, I'm sorry. It was a crazy thought."  
  
"I just...got a scratch. It's nothing. Really." He tried to convince her, hoping that his ability to lie hadn't ceased since he had reached Stars Hollow. He looked sincere enough to Rory, although he was in fact far from sincere. He just flat out lied to her.  
  
"Ok. So...are we ok?"  
  
"That's up to you seeing as how you were the one who got pissed off in the first place."  
  
"But I still want to know what you meant by it was -hard- to hang out with me." He looked at her.  
  
"Oh. Well why don't we go back to Luke's and talk." She smiled and they walked quietly back to Luke's and went up to the apartment. He took off his jacket and and threw it on his bed and then sat down beside it. She stood near the door awkwardly for some reason and looked around the room. "So, you wanted to talk?" He asked, hoping she had changed her mind.  
  
"Um, yeah. If that's ok with you." She knew it wasn't, but maybe he would talk to her.  
  
"Sure." He nodded, awaiting her to continue. She came over and sat in one of the kitchen chairs.  
  
"So why is it hard for you to hang out with me? I just wondered, because I always thought we were, ya know, friends....so I just..." She rambled.  
  
"Rory." He tried to get her to stop. "It wasn't you, ok? It was me. You didn't let me finish that day. I was going to tell you that it was hard for me to hang out with you because...it scared me." She looked confused and rightly so. He really didn't plan on telling her about his past, but how else could he explain this without talking about his past? There was no other way. He ran his hand through his mass of hair and sighed. "Me and my best friend used to talk about the girls that we wanted to be with when we grew up....and we would describe them and stuff. And it scared me because one day I was looking at you and I all of a sudden realized that you resembled the girl I had described all those years ago. It was just crazy and stupid and I'm sorry...." Now he was rambling, and Rory suppressed a giggle.  
  
"Jess...that's an interesting story. Where did you read it?" She asked.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"That obviously didn't come out of your own head, because nothing like that could happen in real life." She explained. "So where did you read it?"  
  
"I didn't read it anywhere. It's true!" He yelled as she shook her head. "Rory." She looked up at him. "It's true." She took in the seriousness of his voice.  
  
"Ok." There was an awkward silence for a moment. She stared anywhere but his face and he stared anywhere but her face.  
  
"So are we ok?" He asked timidly, finally getting the courage to speak.  
  
"Yeah. We're good." She got up and hugged him. Jess was a little surprised by this gesture but was definitely happy about it. Just then, something seemed to have registered in her mind and she pulled away from him.  
  
"I look like the girl you described all those years ago? Is that even possible?" He looked down, shyly. This wasn't really easy for him to talk about.  
  
"Yeah I guess so...."  
  
"That's so weird." She began to blush furiously, just thinking about her and Jess as a couple...this was getting to be the strangest thing she's ever thought about.  
  
"Yeah, but I wouldn't worry to much about it...it was a long time ago." He had apparently noticed her blush and justified himself, so she wouldn't be uncomfortable around him. "A very long time ago..." She stared at him. "Let's just forget this, ok?" He pleaded. He felt uncomfortable talking about this anyway and besides it made him think of Justin and he didn't want to because it hurt too much.  
  
"Uh ok. Hey, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later?" He nodded and watched her leave. Then he remembered something.....he lied to her about his arm..... *who's an idiot? I'm an idiot.* He wished he could have just told her the truth...but sometimes it wasn't that easy. 


	16. I'll never leave you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rory just heard from Luke that Jess' favorite Uncle on his father's side had been put in the hospital. She didn't know why his uncle was in the hospital, but from the look on Luke's face, it must have been bad. She searched frantically for him. He was no where to be found. She looked at the gazebo, the bridge, everywhere, there was no sign of him anywhere. She felt something wet fall on her face. It started raining...in fact, it was pouring. "JESS!!" She cried out. "JESS!!!" The rain drowned out her voice as she ran through the forest beside the bridge. She ran as fast as she could. She had never been back this far into the woods before. "JE-" she stopped running when she saw him. He was facing an open field the the woods had opened into. In all the years she had lived here, she had never seen this humongous field behind Stars Hollow.  
  
She walked slowly and carefully up to him. He was standing completely stiff, looking up at the sky, just letting the rain fall on his face. She placed a hand on his shoulder, but that did not seem to get his attention so she stepped in front of him. His shirt was ripped almost in half in the front and there was blood on his chest. Gashes and cuts covered his face, arms, and chest. She placed both of her hands on his shoulders and shook him gently to get him to look at her. His eyes traveled downwards until they rested on her face. They just sat there staring at one another, Rory searched every inch of his face for some kind of emotion and only in his eyes was where she found the sadness and fear that she had expected to find. "I knew he was going to do this." He said sadly, shaking his head but still looking out into the field.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I knew he would abondon me, just like my father did." Rory took a step back.  
  
"Jess, he's not gone, he's just in the hospital. He'll be fine." She replied folding her arms over her chest.  
  
"He's got cancer, Rory. He'll be gone soon enough." His voice was sad but bitter. "He'll leave me, just like everyone else does." Rory couldn't take it anymore. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, but he didn't hug her back. This didn't stop her though, she continued to hug him as they stood in the rain getting completely soaked.  
  
"I'll never leave you." She whispered as she let go of him. He smiled sadly at her as she touched on of the cuts on his face. "What happened?" He looked away. "Jess...."  
  
"Rory..." His voice sounded like he on the verge of tears. "I have a problem..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: I know it's short, but I didn't have a lot of time, SORRY!! Please review! 


	17. Savior

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone  
  
**Previously:  
**  
"I'll never leave you." She whispered as she let go of him. He smiled sadly at her as she touched on of the cuts on his face. "What happened?" He looked away. "Jess...."  
  
"Rory..." His voice sounded like he on the verge of tears. "I have a problem..."  
  
Now on to the show!

* * *

"Have you ever thought something, then actually acted upon it, no matter how selfish and wrong it is?" He stared into the open field, the rain sliding down his face off of his eyelashes down to his chin. "Have you ever thought that we're all just....floating around accidental-like on a breeze, no purpose or reason, just....there and have not a care in the world? But then...there are those select few that take the beating for everyone. They end up completely alone just so everyone else can have a care-free life. Most say that they are the MOST selfish, when in reality, they are the most selfless. I'm one of those people, Rory." She stood there for a moment, taking it all in. He realized that he was going to have to spell it out for her.  
  
"Jess...I'm not entirely sure if I understand..."  
  
"I didn't want that life anymore..so...these past couple of years, I've...umm...tried to take me own life...several times." Rory's eyes enlarged to the size of oranges as she began to back away from him. "Rory..." He held his hand out to her to make her stop.  
  
"Jess, why would you do that?"  
  
"I didn't have anyone in the world, Rory. You have to understand!" He pleaded. She stopped backing away and stared at him.  
  
"Since you've been here...have you...ya know?" He looked away, giving her, her answer. "Jess, you know I was here for you." He nodded sadly. She was almost angry for him not telling her earlier, but how could she be mad at him? Looking at him standing there, he looked like a lost puppy that was completely soaked. "Let's go back to the diner." She put an arm around him and they continued walking. When they finally reached the diner, their clothes were entirely soaked through, even Rory's jean jacket. Jess sat quietly on one of the stools at the counter, thanking God for the diner being closed. He picked up a piece of paper that was on the counter and read it aloud as Rory searched around for blankets.  
  
Jess-  
  
I don't really know what to say to you, but all I can think of is..I'm sorry. Your uncle is a good, stong man and he will make it through this. I went over to the inn to help Lorelai out, but the rain is starting to kick up so I may not be able to get home. Sorry.  
  
Luke  
  
"So Luke's helping my mom out?" Rory asked as she brought in two large, heavy blankets. Jess nodded quietly, taking the blanket from her.  
  
"I have clothes..ya know, if you need or want to change."  
  
"Actually that would be good." He lead her up the stairs and into the apartment. He began rummaging around in his droors for something would at least remotely fit her. Finally finding something, he handed the items of clothing to her and showed her where the bathroom was. He took this time to find himself some clothes. He changed as quickly as possible and awaited for Rory to come out. "Thank you so much, Jess. I feel so much better." She smiled as she came out of the bathroom. She found her way to the washer and dryer and placed her and Jess' clothes in. He cleaned up some of his cuts in the sink and put bandages on them. He was laying on his bed, reading, when Rory finally figured out how to work the darn things. "Hey, Jess, we need to talk." She said, comming over to his bed.  
  
"I figured you would want to eventually." He set his book down beside him and adjusted himself to a sitting position. "I haven't really told anybody. Luke only knows because he found me a couple times like...attempting to..." He made a handmotion. "And so I just...I didn't really know how to bring it up to you, because I knew you'd think I was some kind of suicidal freak and...and I didn't want that."  
  
"Jess, I wouldn't...don't think of you as a 'suicidal freak', ok? It scares me that you thought about something like that...well, actually have tried...and I mean, if you had actually been able to go through with it without anybody finding you...I would have never met you, Jess. And..that would have been...so terrible."  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."  
  
"It's ok. But please don't kill yourself, I just don't know what I would do..." She hugged him as tight as she could. "I just love you so much and I..." They both stopped what they were doing and stared at one another.  
  
"You....love me?" He asked, holding his breath for her answer. She sat, staring for a moment before she was able to speak.  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"What about Dean?" He asked, skeptically.  
  
"He annoys me." She smiled, trying to brighten the mood.  
  
"No one, except my mother has ever said that to me and even then it was just...weird." She continued smiling at him. "And I...think I love you too, Rory." He leaned in to kiss her, but the phone rang. He jumped back and laughed. "I'll get it."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Is this Luke Danes?"  
  
"No, this is Jess Mariano, his nephew."  
  
"Oh ok, could you tell him that his...um...well your uncle is going to be fine?"  
  
"I could do that. Thank you very much." He hung up the phone and tried to hide his excitement. "My uncle is going to be fine." He beamed. Rory got up and hugged him for about the thirtieth time that night.  
  
"I'm so happy for you, Jess." She kissed lightly on the lips, but then it turned into a more passionate kiss, leaving them both completely breathless when they pulled away. "I liked that."  
  
"Me too." The both grinned at one another. "I think things are going to turn out ok."  
  
Jess Mariano had had a horrible life until he met Rory Gilmore. He never knew that he could feel this way towards anyone, he didn't even know this feeling existed. He knew that he and Rory would have their rough paches througout their relationship, but he had a feeling that they would get through them. After that day, Jess never tried to hurt himself again, because he now felt like he had a reason to live.  
  
The next day, Rory and Jess both broke up with Dean and Shane, even though Jess and Shane weren't really going out. In the days to follow, Rory and Jess found themselves. Jess was able to get through his friend's death and Rory was finally able to fill most of the hole that had settled in her heart when her father died. They were eachother's savior.  
  
THE ENDA/N: Ok! So that was the end of this story of mine. Thank you all so much for reviewing! It meant so much to me, but if you could just review one more time on the last chapter, that would be absolutely wonderful! I hope that I have entertained you while you were reading this story! 


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